Remembering...

The last few days
Nothing but remembering my past
The good, the bad...
Especially the bad...haunting me a bit...

I cried a bit remembering it
For the last 5 years
I grew scared of everything
Every little bit, just reminds me

I grew scared
Until I have a phobia

Even so, last few years were better
I'm blessed for that
Though I go thru some similar things
I went mental how many times
I didn't really have anyone to talk to

I grew stronger as each day I face it
Some made me phobia-matic
Some made me stronger, learning
And understanding how to go thru it
If it happens again...

I know I keep quiet sometimes...
But those are the times
I don't know what to do
Or thinking what I've done wrong again
And again...

I feel I'm the trouble maker
It seems like I'm always causing trouble
Or perhaps...there's a problem with me?
I'm always to blame...
Blaming myself for not ever doing anything right
Can't anyhing I do or say is ever right?

Maybe this is the life I lead
The life of a Piscesan
Having 2 personalities...
And always indecisive
Also...sensitive

I've hurt people, made them cry
Love ones especially
Never made anyone happy...

Or have I?