Movie Disaster, More Disaster

I didn't expect bringing dad for a movie can turned out so sour. All I wanted was to show him that I think of him & mom wherever I am, whenever. Is that so difficult to express?? YES IT IS!!

I had bought dad tickets to watch Indiana Jones together with mom & Fluffy too. Fluffy was with me when I bought the tickets (that time we were buying tickets to watch Ironman- yeah I had already watched in Bangkok, but I did promise to accompany Fluffy to watch) on a Wednesday night. I'm broke, or I would have bought on another day.

Imagine, telling dad & dad wasn't pleased about it. He never liked how the exit of the cinema's are always made- nice way in, lousy way out. They always lead you to the stairways or not to the carpark. Dad was telling he wasn't so interested in it. I made it clear its once a while thing, no harm going. Mom was keen to go. So mom persuaded dad to go. He heard there was this more expensive seat where the seating is much better. Thats RM20 per person, & I told dad thats all I can afford. He even ask me if I can change it. How am I to change something thats already been bought??

Yesterday, upon reaching 1 Utama shopping mall's upstairs carpark. We waited a really long time for a carpark, thats when dad started to lose his temper & showing it. He keeps telling me not to buy tickets like this, lousy place, not nice cinema. He keeps whinning about the place & things like that.

That was so it.
That almost made me cry in the car.

So happen that Fluffy called & I threw it on Fluffy when he said that he manage to get carpark downstairs. I'm so sorry for that Fluffy. But I was in so deeply hurt already. I was saying to Fluffy that he's not making things any better, thats when dad can say of course its not better, lousy carpark & all. I lost appetite for dinner even. All I felt like doing was getting out of the car & get away from all of them. I mean, c'mon!! Think of me a bit, can't you?? Where do I stand??

Anyways...finally we manage to get a carpark. I needed the loo badly, so I went down & dad got attracted a furniture shop & ended up walking in there for quite a while. I felt bad, I ended up getting angry at mom. I'm sorry mom. I'm sorry Fluffy.

Later we went to the cinema to meet Fluffy. He came separately since he was working on some recording work in the afternoon in KLCC. He was there waiting after buying food for himself & me. That was our dinner, just some breads & sushi. When we enter, dad went to the loo. I was standing there with Fluffy & mom. I was starting to cry. Fluffy was trying to cool me down when he saw my tears rolling down my cheek. He got worried. Luckily mom & dad didn't see that. What would they have thought? Earlier already I had messaged Fluffy that I will be crying in the cinema. The moment we sat down at our assigned seats, tears came rolling down non-stop for about 15mins or more. Fluffy had to take tissues to wipe my tears. Thanx Fluffy...thanx for understanding.

After the movie, we went to pay parking & happen to bump into my young uncle (who happen to be around my age only, but yes he is my uncle) who happen to have gone for the same movie as we did. Apparently they were only a couple of rows in front of us. After paying, Fluffy split from us & we headed to our car to go home.

On the way home, I had missed Fluffy's call. I returned the call, to find out that Fluffy was going to go to OAGRadhi's place to arrange transportation for the Langkawi event they have on Friday. Ended up, I said something that displeased Fluffy & we ended up fighting. I reached home, I went upstairs & was crying again. After washing up, I tried to sleep & all I did was tossed & turned.

Tossed & turned.

Tossed & turned.

Tossed & turned.

2 hours had passed by. Thats when I knew I was getting one of my insomnia nights again. My mind was already disturbed & now this. I ended up messaging Fluffy cos it was getting late & I was worried that he will be tired for the next day.

"Where are you dear?"

"Radhi's place. Nape dear?"

"Its getting late..."

No reply after that.

Later, the reply came.

"In discussion now. Will leave in a bit, ok?"

Its not I want to butt in. But when I leave late, Fluffy's always worried. I was just worried as well. I replied.

"Ok. Will be awake when you get home."

Next came this.

"Are you pressuring me dear?"

No, I wasn't. I was having an insomnia night & he doesn't know it. There was another issue I wasn't pleased about. OAGNizam apparently wanted to have a meeting earlier. I guess was regarding Langkawi. Now, the breakdown.

Fluffy has always been organizing things, been the most responsible from all of them. Always on time, always there. Where else, the rest are not there all the time. What I don't understand is that...why must Fluffy be the one always doing all the arrangement of everything? Sometimes Fluffy can't make it, while the others can do a favor for once to just arrange it? OAGNizam probably was free, & he smartly went home to his wife. I'm not sure of anything was arrange with OAGRadhi. From the way it looks, nothing was arrange since Fluffy had to run all the way there right after the movie, tired & all. It was getting late.

I was worried of Fluffy. but my worrying made him mad at me instead. I don't know if I should worry or not. The rest can always find OAGRadhi earlier to settle since Fluffy couldn't right? But did they?

No idea. Clueless.

This whole hoohaa thing, I ended up not sleeping nor did Fluffy. I was sick to make matters worse. Seems like I've gotten worse today.

I ended up crying in office here for the 1st time since I joined. I couldn't stand it anymore. Doesn't Fluffy know how much it hurts when you're just concern or something & then got blamed for pressuring him.

Fluffy said that if I had phrased things nicely, he wouldn't be so cold.

Again, something I said was not right.

Since I didn't manage to answer Fluffy's message if I was pressuring him, he reached home really fast. I actually was shocked to find him home so fast. Guess what?

He speed on the way home.

He said it was cause of what I said.

What the hell was that about?? Does that make things better?? I got more worried & angry. Is that what he wanted?? That made me awake for the rest of the time. It was difficult, cos I had flu...it was hard to breathe. I feel like I'm choking between tears, flu, & pain.

I just ended up juggling between my sickness, my heartbroken feeling & being stoned there the whole night. No tear came out. I manage to hold it back for the night to pass till dawn arise.

The night has passed. Its another day.

I manage to drive to work today. Somehow I managed. I didn't feel tired.

The whole day, colleagues had been asking whats with me today. Most of them keep saying I'm not myself today. I was EXTREMELY quiet. Partially I didn't have anything to say. I was stoned. I had lost appetite also. I had something very light for lunch. My appetite has dropped again since I've gotten sick. I could hardly eat.

I have improve however.

No self mutilation.

Whatever it might be, I'm sorry Fluffy. I was irritating him the whole night, mostly with messages I keep sending with no reply each time till much later. I hope that Fluffy can see why I was being like so. I hope he can see a bit to my side...

Honestly.

I don't want to end up waiting for him every night like this if we go get together later on. I will be worry of him every day & night...everyone who loves another with all their heart should know this. Or else, why would there be fights? We can all just agree with one another without disagreeing with anything right?

If love hurts so much...why do people keep falling in love again & again?

Cos this what love is really all about.