Saturday...

Another Saturday. Seems like its like any other Saturday.

No. Today was especially different.

Today is Fluffy's youngest brother's wedding ceremony. Since it happened to be today, I skipped my night marathon. Which is really fine with me since it's more important than the marathon. Just suprisingly it gave my friends who are going for the marathon a joke to tease me with. Saying that I'm cursed to take any marathon cos I had missed last year's Penang Marathon too. Not like I had a choice...work has to come first of course! This time, the wedding comes first. I only got to know about the wedding about a week after my marathon registration. Anyways, it's alright with me. I can always try for the next one.

Other than that, family had some major stuffs that happened. A nightmare can say, over the most petty things. Thanx to my mom and me. Great. Even my brother who didn't know what happened, got involved for nothing since dad threw his huge tantrum. Suddenly, it felt so cold today...I didn't want to be unhappy or sad as it is suppose to be a happy day for Fluffy's brother. I was near daddy's office today...but then I didn't dare to even go there. I know daddy will need days to cool down. But I don't know however, will it get any better. We were told that we took things for granted. Some we did, but then again, not all. Yes, I got called stupid as well. Useless. Weak. Blind. Lazy. Whatever you can name it.

I felt like a fool all of a sudden. I missed daddy. The smiling daddy I use to see everyday. Now? I don't know, as I haven't really got home yet to see what had happened at home.

I felt really sad. But I couldn't cry. My heart just aches. Even brother, I don't dare to contact. Now we both have to find our way to work. Settle everything ourselves.

Know what? I don't want to take it as a negative thing anymore. I just recovered 4 weeks ago. Mom said I've been smiling more. Brother says I'm different. Fluffy too. I've decided that this change is to make me move more towards the future and be more independent. It's not a bad move. I have so many things I wanted to do. I need to focus. What I wanna do for the rest of my life. What I want in the future. I wanted to have more money to give my parents a better life, for them to save. I had thought of moving out and toughen myself. I want to finish whatever I started instead of just doing it halfway.

My job is alright. Can't say its bad. Somehow I have certain benefits. It certainly is slightly better than my old places I've worked in someway. I've learned what are the mistakes that I have done in the past, and hope not to be repeated ever where possible. I don't want to be a loser. Who does? At least where I am not, I get some of my necessary needs under every 3 months claims worth of products that I do use.

Life changes as years go by. We change. Everyone changes. This is now the millennium. A new era. A whole new future and life awaits ahead.

I pray everyday. For the better. For myself, family and Fluffy. Whenever I go to the temple, I pray for these special people in my life. Never in any of my prayers have I ever left them out. They are a very important part of life that makes my life a complete circle. Friends; some are to keep, some just come and go like the wind. They somehow always leave marking when they come into our lifes.

My perception of things changed overnight. Yes, its such a short time...but then it got me to really see things and also thinking what I really want to do now; set a target. Aim for it. Say things and do it. Family comes first. Career; work hard and smart. Focus. Keep to promises and not breaking them. Smile more, always be happy. Be blessed with what I have around me. Be thoughtful of those around me. Always help where you can...even if you don't like a person.

Times flies. Times are wasting. A week to the new year. Plans have been destroyed. Amendments? Not sure if it can be amended now. But pray for the best, and work for it. I pray for the new year to be better for us.

Love from the bottom of my heart for those that are special to me. Thank you for being there for me during bad times. I will do my part as a sister, daughter and gf. Please spare me time is all I ask.

Love, the one who keeps in the heart.